At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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