I want to walk on stilts...naked
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I am one with the molecules
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
