Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
