Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
