it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I got a message the other day that just said “great titsâ€
A gentleman AND a scholar
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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