next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
