I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
