i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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