Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
