Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
