she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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