yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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