Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
