I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
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