Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
i need some magic done to my vagina
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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