Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
