I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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