I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
