were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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