my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
