I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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