So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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