I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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