Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Randomize
