VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
