i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
