evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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