he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
