we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
