You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
