Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
