I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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