i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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