He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
