I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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