just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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