White coat. Heels.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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