So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
