I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
