Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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