So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
