You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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