I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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