I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
