If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
