plz talk dirty to me
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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