You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
