Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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