were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
