is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
