When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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