i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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