We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
